Jokes
Two buddies are hunting in the woods when one says to the other, "Hey, I can see your house from here and,wait! Your wife is in her room with some other guy".
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and a smart-ass, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. [more…]
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" [more…]
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer!
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" [more…]
A little boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” [more…]
Henry McQuay wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Henry is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. [more…]
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” [more…]
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eye-patch.
The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
[more…]
Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, quite inebriated, around midnight each night. [more…]
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting near his pad.
Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?
Indian: Dog no talk.
Cowboy: Hey dog, how’s it going?
Dog: Doin’ all right. [more…]
