Jokes
A little boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” [more…]
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eye-patch.
The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
[more…]
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to an examination room and puts his dog down on
the examination table.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her....
He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheseborough-Ponds.
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
A guy goes into a church confessional booth and says:
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Last night I slept with 3 different."
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
